# ‌147Pm

## 1 October

### 1.1 2017-10-10T10:48:55

Life is frightening. If I was to be offered a mind that did not do anything very well other than make money, thereby insuring me a comfortable life, I (some external greater mind version of myself) would be in an existential hell—comfortable, but, nonetheless, hell. That is to say, my existential meaninglessness would be maximal.

As it is, largely by comparison, I can see that I have been highly blessed—although material wealth and comfort have surely eluded me.

Let’s say there are $$1,000$$ truly genius people on Earth. That means the rest of us are some manner of retarded relatively. I think I’m sub-genius, i.e., in the $$10,000$$ or so just below the $$1,000$$. It’s okay, I guess, but I doubt I’ll ever make any real breakthrough. No, I’ll just be one of the first to jump up in recognition of any breakthrough.

A joke is hyper-cyclic in the sense that a narrative has a cycle with an expected path through the cycle. A joke somehow goes hyper-cyclic on you, in that it breaks you out of the expected cycle. In any event, a joke is

A guy walks into a bar—and sustains a mild concussion.

The joke above would have a cycle where $$A$$ was, perhaps, the man outside the bar, and $$B$$, the man inside the bar.

### 1.2 2017-10-24T07:05:35

Another example of recursion—in everyday language: The best of the best of the best….

### 1.3 2017-10-24T07:17:55

For the rest of my life I shall (more poetic than will) seek employment at a particular Lower Saxon convent as a dishwasher. I'll find a room in the town on the far side of a forest so as to walk to and from work through that forest. In the dark part of the year this will be oppressive but in a satisfyingly melancholic way. Over on the far side of the forest is a forgotten war memorial for orphans whose orphanage was bombed in the final days of the war. I'll visit it from time to time and lay flowers at it. After all, what could be more tragic than orphans bombed by righteous victors. All of this will be my ode to the dying branches of humanity, I never able to climb out on any one of them during my productive years.

Date: 2017-10-10T10:47:10

Created: 2017-10-30 Mon 13:28

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